Rylan gets frustrated quicker with tasks that he's struggling with. He will try something for a bit and then throw his hands up, get emotional and say, "I can't do it!" You have to talk calmly to him so he can get past the emotions and be ready to try again. Ever since Mackenzie was a baby, she will stick with a task until she gets it. She has more patience and perseverance when trying new things. The patience isn't unlimited though and eventually, her response to frustration is anger, where Rylan's is sadness. I wonder if these differences are related to birth order. I'm sure when Rylan was little we were more likely to help him whenever he struggled, but we gave Mackenzie more time before we swooped in to the rescue.
Rylan doesn't sweat the small stuff. I think this is a gender difference - usually females are more concerned with details. I was reminded of this again this morning. It was pajama day at Rylan's school and I asked him if he could wear slippers, but he hadn't heard his teacher say anything so we assumed it was not allowed. When I brought him in this morning, I immediately noticed kids wearing slippers and my heart started racing, not wanting Rylan to be without something. I totally would have gone home to get his slippers, but he didn't care at all. I even heard him say to a friend, "I have slippers at home, I just didn't wear them because I didn't know if we could." It wasn't a big deal to him at all so I let it go. If that had been Mackenzie she would have been devastated that she didn't have her slippers and I would have had to go home and get them. She probably wouldn't have been able to concentrate until she got her slippers. So tomorrow when she has pajama day, I won't forget a thing!
Mackenzie is a leader, Rylan is more of a follower. I wonder if this is an age thing, but Mackenzie has confidence for days. Rylan is a little more reserved with his opinion, he seems to need a little assurance that it's "alright". I think he's starting to see more peer pressure at his age and Mackenzie just doesn't care what anyone says. I really don't think she'll lose that though - she is quite head strong. One day we were talking about cats and Rylan said, "I don't like cats because Daddy doesn't like cats." Mackenzie looked right at him and responded (with all her attitude), "I LOVE cats!"
Mackenzie is definitely more difficult to discipline. When she doesn't get her way or she gets punished she gets angry and defiant. When Rylan doesn't get his way or has a consequence, he gets upset and cries. Time outs work wonders for Rylan - he willingly goes to his room and knows he can come out when he has calmed down. Then we talk about the situation and he understands what he can do differently the next time. Don't get the impression that he's a total cry baby though, there are definitely occasions where he marches confidently up to his room to serve his timeout - the action was totally worth the timeout to him. Mackenzie will refuse to go into timeout so we've tried carrying her up to her room, but then the nuclear tantrum begins - screaming, kicking, throwing things - it's not pretty. And it doesn't really work either - she freaks out until she hurts herself or just gets exhausted and by the time its all over and we try to talk about what happened, she doesn't remember and she doesn't get it. So with her, if she refuses to go to timeout, we put one of her favorite toys in timeout on the fridge. For some reason this works wonders. She will usually cry and have a mini-tantrum right away, but is more willing to cooperate to get her toy back. If we put one of Rylan's toys on the fridge, it might stay there for days because he'll forget about it.
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